This & That

The Ice Chest

It's silly, but for a while I had been fixated on the fact that I didn't have an ice chest for the road trip home. I had been reading a lot of articles with titles like, "15 Must-Haves For Any Road Trip" or, "Top 10 Road Trip Tips" and a lot of them said that an ice chest was crucial. This was a problem. I repeat,  THIS WAS A HUGE PROBLEM (at least in my head) because I didn't have an ice chest here. And not only that, but Avonlee couldn't fly here with one of ours from home and I didn't want to buy one here because it seemed like such a waste considering how many we have at home. I freely admit that I spent way too much time worrying about this. I mean, it's just an ice chest for crying out loud but for some reason I couldn't stop thinking about it.

"How will Avonlee and I carry around snacks? ... It would save us so much money to buy food for the trip instead of eating out! ... And drinks! We will want to have drinks and buying them in bulk would be much more economical!"

So you see the problem, right?

Then, one day I was babysitting and the amazing couple that I babysit for came home from their date night accompanied by many bags full of their leftovers from The Cheesecake Factory, groceries and... an ice chest. They pull out a container from a Cheesecake Factory bag and gave me a slice of cheesecake that they brought home for me and then pull out a bag of ice from one of the grocery bags, put it in the ice chest and then pushed it across the table to me and said, "Here, so your cheesecake stays cold on the drive home."

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They could not have known that they had just solved a problem that I had been very worried about. The problem that I had been stupidly fixating on. The problem that I couldn't see a way around. And to make things even better, it was a styrofoam ice chest so it wouldn't add to the ice chest collection at home! We could just use it for the trip and then get rid of it. Perfect! It was completely random (I mean, who buys an ice chest for someone so that their slice of cheesecake stays cold on the drive home? Very, very nice people apparently) but could not have been more perfect. Driving home with my ice chest in my passenger seat, I was reminded of the fact that God always has you covered, even on the small things.

Happy New Jersey Mother's Day

I wasn't sure what kind of Mother's Day card to get Barb, my New Jersey mom. The problem is that they don't really sell cards that say, "To: My New Jersey Mom" on them. I found a card that had the perfect message on the inside; simple but sweet. However, I didn't understand the cover. It said, "This & That" in pretty, stylized writing. My dearest friend Amy saw it and said that she thought it was cute, which I replied to by saying, "Yeah, but what the heck does it mean?"

"This and that. You know... like the small things... this and that!" (Oh Amy, how you always make sense of things for me). Suddenly I got all excited because I realized I had just found the perfect card! Because with Barb (and most other things in life), it is about the small things. Don't get me wrong, there are a TON of big things that she and her family have done for me, but it is the small things that I think of when I think of Barb. I think of watching The Chew with her and our complete obsession with Downton Abbey. I think of her cooking and her dinner table conversations and shopping with her and driving with her and talking about Facebook articles with her and all those small things. Just, this & that.

This & That

It really is all about the small things in life. In my last blog post I talked about all the small things I was going to miss about New Jersey. Not only is the list growing, but now that I am in my last week with Habitat and less than two weeks away from my drive to California, the little things don't seem so small anymore. They are growing. Exponentially. 

It has become hard to even think about leaving. I can't put into words what this year and the people who filled it have meant to me. I just hope that they all know what it has meant to me somehow, which they would have to be a mind reader to know because every time I think about it I become a blubbering mess. For those of you who are reading this and are a part of my New Jersey life, just know that I am blubbering right now, as I type this and my glasses are fogging up and it's basically a huge mess. I really do love all of you.

This & that. Here or there. I will always love you.

Two More Months

What’s been on my mind:

The anticipation of coming to New Jersey was almost too much. I was so excited in the months prior that it felt like a continuous sugar rush had taken over my body. The excitement turned to nervousness which quickly changed back into excitement up until the day before I left when the nervousness returned. Once I was in New Jersey I was back on the continuous sugar high feeling. I was traveling to all sorts of new places I had never been before and I was meeting new people and living my dream of building homes for families who had been homeless since Sandy. It's crazy to think about now, but I really have been living my dream. The thing about dreams is that once you spend enough time living it, it just becomes your life. The sugar high had been diluted just enough for me to realize that it is March, and even though I have been trying not to think about it, I now realize that March means that I only have two more months in New Jersey.

People in the office have already started saying that they are going to miss me and are asking about my trip back to California. Each and every time I think about leaving, I am filled with a subtle panic. The first time I had this feeling, it really freaked me out. I honestly didn't expect to feel it, which is kinda silly. In the beginning of this journey, I was so focused on the fact that I was leaving my home that I didn’t even think about the possibility that someday it would be really hard to leave New Jersey. I continued to not think about it the first five months because I was so busy floating in the dream to even think about it. It wasn't until I left to go home for the holidays that I realized that going home for good, not just for the holidays, was going to be REALLY hard.

I’ve started to think about all the small things I will miss, like Lauren’s extreme passion and knowledge of county music, the way Amy always unconsciously adjusts the items on her desk, Joe always ending the day with a reminder to, “Be good” and how Lori enters a room and immediately says with a sly smile, “Whatcha doin?” I will miss getting sandwiches at Pluggy Too’s with the guys and driving through Union Beach and inevitably passing homes that I helped build. I will miss Pastor Jason’s sermons, getting my gas pumped for me, watching Downton Abbey with Barb, Drew's jokes, and Ron’s effortless happiness. Lauren and I nosing each other, Amy tossing things from her desk to mine and watching stupid movies with the swim guys. New Jersey has become a second home. I came here without considering the possibility that I would find a place that I love. What I couldn't have anticipated is that I would be welcomed with SO much love that it would be impossible not to fall in love with it. Leaving is going to be so hard- I don't even want to think about it- but knowing that I have such an amazing group of people supporting me and loving me on the East Coast will be a huge comfort as I move ahead in life. 

What’s been going on:

Carla Burdick and Barbara Durchak have moved into their homes. Their home dedications are the next two weekends. They both love their new homes. It has been a little slow on the construction front over the winter, but as the temperature warms to balmy 50 degrees, work at the Morgan's house has started to pick up. This week I was with a group of students from Minnesota State University and North Dakota State University. They drove something crazy like 26 hours to get to New Jersey to volunteer for the week!  They were such a cool group to be with for the week. One of those groups that I know will stick out in my mind as one of my favorites.

A couple things that stick out in my mind as being really cool things that happened to me today:

1. Ron took the group out to pizza for lunch because it had started snowing while we were working and everyone was freezing. After we had finished demolishing the 4 pizzas (!) he went up to the counter to pay only to find out that a customer who had been sitting in the pizzeria when we arrived had paid for all of our pizzas without our knowing. He told the employee that he saw that we were with Habitat for Humanity and that he wanted to pay for our meal. The employee said that the generous man wasn't a regular at the pizzeria (which Ron is, they basically know each other by name) so he couldn't tell Ron who he was. We will never be able to thank the stranger for his generosity, and yet he paid for our huge meal just because he knew we were with Habitat.

2. The group had given me a ride in their van from the work site to the pizza place so that I didn't have to take my car. However by the time we had finished eating, the snow was getting so bad that we called the day short and it was time for them to drive back to where they were staying. Because they are such nice people, they said that they would give me a ride back to the site, even though they didn't need to because their day was over. On the ride back, they were joking about how they were going to kidnap me and bring me back to Minnesota with them. When we got back to the site, I got out of the 12 passenger van, said goodbye one last time and closed the door. To my surprise, one of their leaders, Pastor Dan (far left, with the beard), got out of the van and told me that he wished me the best of luck in everything that is ahead of me and then he gave me a big hug. One of those real hugs where you can feel it in your bones that the person really means it and really cares about you. That meant so much to me.

Driving home I was thinking about one of the questions that Sophie, one of the students, had asked me during lunch. She asked if it was hard to meet new people each week and become friends with them, only to watch them leave? I told her that it was really hard. All of you have read that in previous blog posts but this group reminded me of it. It had been so long since I was with a group (because I went home for a few months and then came back to a winter wonderland and not much construction going on) that I had almost forgotten just how hard it was. I hope that my good friends at Minnesota State and North Dakota State University have the best that life has to offer and I hope that I get the privilege of seeing them again someday. 

Blizzard Juno

Last week I spent my time at the new ReStore instead of the construction sites. The grand opening of the store is in a few days and I wanted to be there to help out any way I could before it opened. For those of you who don't know what the ReStore is, it is a retail store run by our Habitat affiliate that sells furniture, and all of the proceeds go toward Habitat homes. Many Habitat affiliates have ReStores, including us, and we are moving ours to a much larger location.

On one of the days, I was there cleaning chotchkies to put out and a lady arrived who was there to volunteer. We started chatting and one thing led to another and she asked my if I was saved. I told her that I was. She asked me for the story of my walk with God and emphasized her curiosity about whether I had an experience that made me a believer. I told her that I was raised in the church and that so far, I have always believed in God's existence and that I have never had one single experience that made me believe. She kept looking at me, so I continued by telling her that my belief has never wavered because of a bunch of small things instead of one large thing. I told her about times when I have been on a hike and found a waterfall deep in the woods, and as I stood at the foot of the water fall, getting mist sprayed on me, I knew. I just knew that He was there.

This is just one example of a small, faith affirming moment that has happened in my life. These moments are often accompanied by goosebumps on my arms and a flutter in my stomach as I get "the feeling" (I honestly don't know what else to call it). I would describe "the feeling" as the re-realization that someone greater than me made the world and everything in it, and that he is loving, and so mighty, and so dazzling brilliant. I get this feeling every time I look at the stars, whenever it stand at the edge of the ocean, and every time a watch a butterfly go by. They tend to sneak up on me, but each time I get "the feeling" I am able to recognize what it is and I get so ecstatic whenever it does.

As I talked to her, I didn't get too gushy on the topic (I mean, I didn't want to freak her out!) and believe me, I can. I left it at that and continued to wipe off old china. She then told me all about her life, which was hard to listen to. She has had a truly hard life; one that is hard for me to even imagine living. There seemed to be a long list of horrors throughout her life including everything from her father losing his mind and thinking she was LITERALLY the devil and constantly abusing her in numerous, unspeakable ways to her substance abuse and having a kid at a very young age and having him taken away from her. As the story of her life went on, I realized that I was talking to a true survivor.

When she got to the part of her life when she went to church for the first time with her grandmother, she was crying. She said, "I was afraid to go to church because I thought that the building would burn down if I set foot in it." I was close to tears myself but couldn't help but giggle along with her as she said this. Her story ends with her slowly coming to know God and trust in Him. Even though her struggles still follow her, she told me that she is so happy now because she finds her strength through God and knows that all thing are possible through him. Her faith warmed my heart and honestly, impressed me. She has been through so much in her life and was able to move on through her faith. She is another person from my time here that I will never forget.

As I'm sure you all know, Blizzard Juno came through the North East this week. We didn't get as much snow as they were predicting, but we did get enough to make everything look totally gorgeous. A few times, I have found myself walking out of a building and un-expectantly walking into snow fall. Each of these times I have gotten "the feeling". I couldn't help but take a second and stand there to notice each little flake as it gently floats down to the ground to join it's friends. It's just one of those little things that is so dang lovely that I have this overwhelming feeling of love and confidence in God's presence. I thought of the volunteer at the ReStore as I watched those little flakes fall. I hope that wherever she was when Blizzard Juno hit, she felt the love that I felt from that little moment.

A picture I took in front of the house today. 

Round Two!

I am back in New Jersey! YAY! I had a lovely time while I was home for the holidays. I was able to see all of my family, friends, and spend some quality time with my cat, all of which was such a blessing. I had a great birthday with my family and my best friend. My mom surprised me with tickets to the Off Broadway production of Jersey Boy (which was amazing). I also had a great time celebrating some good friend's birthdays. We had a great Thanksgiving and an AMAZING Christmas. The whole family was at our house and we ate great food, had great conversations and watched some great movies! Then we went to the Bay Area for New Years and saw fireworks in San Francisco on New Year's eve! We followed it up with more time with friends and family up until the day I had to leave. This time home was unforgettable.  

I flew into NJ on Wednesday, which was a long day of travel. I went from Sacramento to Los Angeles to Nashville before I finally made in to Newark, NJ. On my travels I met a splendid young man named Nate. Nate is probably the most talkative person I have ever met, and is painfully aware of his talkativeness. I got the feeling that he had been told many times in his life that he talks too much. At first I thought that he was just going to talk about video games for the entire FIVE HOUR FLIGHT from Los Angeles to Nashville. But the more I talked to him, the more I realized that Nate was a boy with many interests, all of which he wanted to talk about. Nate isn't only interested in video games, but he is also interested in philosophy, science, and the future... among other things. When we landed, Nate helped me get my bag from the over head storage compartment. As he handed me my bag, he told me that he appreciated me listening to him and letting him watch Harry Potter with me. He said that most people tell him that he talks too much but that it was refreshing being around someone who let him talk. As we walked off the plane together, I realized that I felt a little sorry for Nate. No one should have to feel self conscious about being themselves. Sadly, it is something that almost everyone has to go through. It may seem weird that I am spending so much time talking about a kid who I knew for a few hours, but Nate is still part of my story. As I said in a past blog post, everyone you meet has the power to impact you in some way. I see it all the time with the volunteers who I work with every week at Habitat. 

Speaking of Habitat, I am SO excited to go back! Monday will be my first day back and I can't wait to see all of my friends in the office and on the construction sites. Thank goodness for Facebook because it has made it possible for me to keep up with the progress that has been made on the houses that I had been working on before I left. The Costanza family has moved into their home since I left, which is amazing. It feels like just yesterday I was standing in the footers of her not yet built home, pumping water so that the foundation could be built. Now she is all moved in! Amazing. Barbara Durchaks's home was just a skeleton when I left and now it has been lifted, the sheetrock is up, the siding is almost done and the add on looks amazing!!! 

What it looked like before I left. 

What it looks like now!

I am SO looking forward to seeing it in person, walking through it (without having to have a face mask on!) and giving Barbara a hug! It is just too amazing. Again, this is why I am here. This is what is important. Getting these lovely people a home. Can't wait for round two of this great adventure I am on. There are so many more people to meet, houses to be built, memories to be made and lessons to learn. Glad you all are here to go along on the ride with me :)