What’s been on my mind:
The anticipation of coming to New Jersey was almost too much. I was so excited in the months prior that it felt like a continuous sugar rush had taken over my body. The excitement turned to nervousness which quickly changed back into excitement up until the day before I left when the nervousness returned. Once I was in New Jersey I was back on the continuous sugar high feeling. I was traveling to all sorts of new places I had never been before and I was meeting new people and living my dream of building homes for families who had been homeless since Sandy. It's crazy to think about now, but I really have been living my dream. The thing about dreams is that once you spend enough time living it, it just becomes your life. The sugar high had been diluted just enough for me to realize that it is March, and even though I have been trying not to think about it, I now realize that March means that I only have two more months in New Jersey.
People in the office have already started saying that they are going to miss me and are asking about my trip back to California. Each and every time I think about leaving, I am filled with a subtle panic. The first time I had this feeling, it really freaked me out. I honestly didn't expect to feel it, which is kinda silly. In the beginning of this journey, I was so focused on the fact that I was leaving my home that I didn’t even think about the possibility that someday it would be really hard to leave New Jersey. I continued to not think about it the first five months because I was so busy floating in the dream to even think about it. It wasn't until I left to go home for the holidays that I realized that going home for good, not just for the holidays, was going to be REALLY hard.
I’ve started to think about all the small things I will miss, like Lauren’s extreme passion and knowledge of county music, the way Amy always unconsciously adjusts the items on her desk, Joe always ending the day with a reminder to, “Be good” and how Lori enters a room and immediately says with a sly smile, “Whatcha doin?” I will miss getting sandwiches at Pluggy Too’s with the guys and driving through Union Beach and inevitably passing homes that I helped build. I will miss Pastor Jason’s sermons, getting my gas pumped for me, watching Downton Abbey with Barb, Drew's jokes, and Ron’s effortless happiness. Lauren and I nosing each other, Amy tossing things from her desk to mine and watching stupid movies with the swim guys. New Jersey has become a second home. I came here without considering the possibility that I would find a place that I love. What I couldn't have anticipated is that I would be welcomed with SO much love that it would be impossible not to fall in love with it. Leaving is going to be so hard- I don't even want to think about it- but knowing that I have such an amazing group of people supporting me and loving me on the East Coast will be a huge comfort as I move ahead in life.
People in the office have already started saying that they are going to miss me and are asking about my trip back to California. Each and every time I think about leaving, I am filled with a subtle panic. The first time I had this feeling, it really freaked me out. I honestly didn't expect to feel it, which is kinda silly. In the beginning of this journey, I was so focused on the fact that I was leaving my home that I didn’t even think about the possibility that someday it would be really hard to leave New Jersey. I continued to not think about it the first five months because I was so busy floating in the dream to even think about it. It wasn't until I left to go home for the holidays that I realized that going home for good, not just for the holidays, was going to be REALLY hard.
I’ve started to think about all the small things I will miss, like Lauren’s extreme passion and knowledge of county music, the way Amy always unconsciously adjusts the items on her desk, Joe always ending the day with a reminder to, “Be good” and how Lori enters a room and immediately says with a sly smile, “Whatcha doin?” I will miss getting sandwiches at Pluggy Too’s with the guys and driving through Union Beach and inevitably passing homes that I helped build. I will miss Pastor Jason’s sermons, getting my gas pumped for me, watching Downton Abbey with Barb, Drew's jokes, and Ron’s effortless happiness. Lauren and I nosing each other, Amy tossing things from her desk to mine and watching stupid movies with the swim guys. New Jersey has become a second home. I came here without considering the possibility that I would find a place that I love. What I couldn't have anticipated is that I would be welcomed with SO much love that it would be impossible not to fall in love with it. Leaving is going to be so hard- I don't even want to think about it- but knowing that I have such an amazing group of people supporting me and loving me on the East Coast will be a huge comfort as I move ahead in life.
What’s been going on:
Carla Burdick and Barbara Durchak have moved into their homes. Their home dedications are the next two weekends. They both love their new homes. It has been a little slow on the construction front over the winter, but as the temperature warms to balmy 50 degrees, work at the Morgan's house has started to pick up. This week I was with a group of students from Minnesota State University and North Dakota State University. They drove something crazy like 26 hours to get to New Jersey to volunteer for the week! They were such a cool group to be with for the week. One of those groups that I know will stick out in my mind as one of my favorites.
A couple things that stick out in my mind as being really cool things that happened to me today:
1. Ron took the group out to pizza for lunch because it had started snowing while we were working and everyone was freezing. After we had finished demolishing the 4 pizzas (!) he went up to the counter to pay only to find out that a customer who had been sitting in the pizzeria when we arrived had paid for all of our pizzas without our knowing. He told the employee that he saw that we were with Habitat for Humanity and that he wanted to pay for our meal. The employee said that the generous man wasn't a regular at the pizzeria (which Ron is, they basically know each other by name) so he couldn't tell Ron who he was. We will never be able to thank the stranger for his generosity, and yet he paid for our huge meal just because he knew we were with Habitat.
2. The group had given me a ride in their van from the work site to the pizza place so that I didn't have to take my car. However by the time we had finished eating, the snow was getting so bad that we called the day short and it was time for them to drive back to where they were staying. Because they are such nice people, they said that they would give me a ride back to the site, even though they didn't need to because their day was over. On the ride back, they were joking about how they were going to kidnap me and bring me back to Minnesota with them. When we got back to the site, I got out of the 12 passenger van, said goodbye one last time and closed the door. To my surprise, one of their leaders, Pastor Dan (far left, with the beard), got out of the van and told me that he wished me the best of luck in everything that is ahead of me and then he gave me a big hug. One of those real hugs where you can feel it in your bones that the person really means it and really cares about you. That meant so much to me.
Driving home I was thinking about one of the questions that Sophie, one of the students, had asked me during lunch. She asked if it was hard to meet new people each week and become friends with them, only to watch them leave? I told her that it was really hard. All of you have read that in previous blog posts but this group reminded me of it. It had been so long since I was with a group (because I went home for a few months and then came back to a winter wonderland and not much construction going on) that I had almost forgotten just how hard it was. I hope that my good friends at Minnesota State and North Dakota State University have the best that life has to offer and I hope that I get the privilege of seeing them again someday.
A couple things that stick out in my mind as being really cool things that happened to me today:
1. Ron took the group out to pizza for lunch because it had started snowing while we were working and everyone was freezing. After we had finished demolishing the 4 pizzas (!) he went up to the counter to pay only to find out that a customer who had been sitting in the pizzeria when we arrived had paid for all of our pizzas without our knowing. He told the employee that he saw that we were with Habitat for Humanity and that he wanted to pay for our meal. The employee said that the generous man wasn't a regular at the pizzeria (which Ron is, they basically know each other by name) so he couldn't tell Ron who he was. We will never be able to thank the stranger for his generosity, and yet he paid for our huge meal just because he knew we were with Habitat.
2. The group had given me a ride in their van from the work site to the pizza place so that I didn't have to take my car. However by the time we had finished eating, the snow was getting so bad that we called the day short and it was time for them to drive back to where they were staying. Because they are such nice people, they said that they would give me a ride back to the site, even though they didn't need to because their day was over. On the ride back, they were joking about how they were going to kidnap me and bring me back to Minnesota with them. When we got back to the site, I got out of the 12 passenger van, said goodbye one last time and closed the door. To my surprise, one of their leaders, Pastor Dan (far left, with the beard), got out of the van and told me that he wished me the best of luck in everything that is ahead of me and then he gave me a big hug. One of those real hugs where you can feel it in your bones that the person really means it and really cares about you. That meant so much to me.
Driving home I was thinking about one of the questions that Sophie, one of the students, had asked me during lunch. She asked if it was hard to meet new people each week and become friends with them, only to watch them leave? I told her that it was really hard. All of you have read that in previous blog posts but this group reminded me of it. It had been so long since I was with a group (because I went home for a few months and then came back to a winter wonderland and not much construction going on) that I had almost forgotten just how hard it was. I hope that my good friends at Minnesota State and North Dakota State University have the best that life has to offer and I hope that I get the privilege of seeing them again someday.
